Page 13

Thanking the Elder Goddess Zuccax for your good fortune, you reach down and pick up the matchbox and rattle it. To your delight, it’s still filled with matches. Tapping the edge of the box, you pull out a match and begin to strike it with a flourish.

One of the annoying things about ceremonial robes is that they often tend to have very baggy sleeves. This can, of course, cause all sorts of problems during formal feasts and ritual sacrifices.

Another annoying thing about ceremonial robes is the fact that, for all of their pomp and splendour, they’re often made on the cheap in dubious textile factories that often don’t quite meet all of the relevant industry standards. Usually, this just manifests itself as poor stitching or improper sizing but – as you soon find out – those aren’t the only problems.

As you strike the match with a dramatic flourish, a single spark flies out from the matchbox and catches the dangling sleeves of your robes. Since your robes are made from cheap flammable fabric, it isn’t long before your sleeves are engulfed in flames. You try to flail your arms wildly to extinguish it, but this just fans the flames further and causes you to drop the match onto the hem of your robes.

Needless to say, this doesn’t end well. Still, if being a human torch isn’t your thing, you can always….


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