Page 23

After several minutes of careful and considered thought, you say: ‘You know what, I’m more of a rack person really.

Brother Throckmorton’s eyes light up and he gestures towards the rack with a theatrical flourish. You walk over to it and lie down. To your surprise, it’s astonishingly comfortable. Brother Throckmorton clamps the manacles around your ankles before politely asking you to stretch your arms above your head.

Feeling a sinking in the pit of your stomach as he clicks another pair of manacles around your wrists, you ask: ‘You’re not going to test it too much, are you?

He grins and says: ‘I’m just going to give it a quick spin.

D..Don’t you mean, “take it for a quick spin”? ‘ You stutter.

But no, Brother Throckmorton means exactly what he said. His honest and plainspoken demeanour is one of the things that made him the ideal candidate for the honoured and noble position of dungeonkeeper.

On the plus side, no-one will be able to make jokes about you being too short anymore. Still, if you’re getting tired of the weather up there, you can always….

RESTART or CHEAT

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