Ignoring the high priestess’ quiet tutting, you get to your feet and stroll over to the old bookshelf. There’s got to be an interesting novel here somewhere. Brushing a thick layer of dust from the books, you look at their spines.
The first book that you see is a rather austere tome titled “The Forgotten Art Of Oneiromancy”. The next book that you spot is one called “Speckworth’s Almanacke”. Neither of them look particularly interesting, so you keep searching.
After finding three copies of Daniel Defoe’s “A Journal Of The Plague Year”, a signed copy of the Malleus Maleficarum and two copies of “Mrs Beeton’s Household Companion”, you finally stumble across something interesting.
It’s a hardback book with a plain black cover. The word “Necronomicon” is emblazoned across the spine in shiny gold lettering. Realising that it’s been years since you last read a decent horror novel, you walk back over to your chair and open the book.
To your delight, there’s lots of creepy stuff about death and ancient curses on the very first page of the book. The only problem is that there are also lots of strange-sounding words too. Not being certain about their pronunciation, you quietly whisper a few of them to yourself.
As the Old Ones rise from their nameless slumber to retake their rightful place as the Earth’s cruel overlords and a plethora of cyclopean horrors emerge from beyond all known space and time to make the Earth their plaything, you realise that it probably doesn’t matter if “Ia!” is pronounced “eye-ya” or “eee-aaah”.
Still, if autocratic cephalopod rule doesn’t quite fit into your political beliefs, you can always….