Page 37

You knock on the door once. No-one answers. You knock on the door twice. Again, no-one answers.

Deciding that the third time will be the charm, you raise your fist and pound on the door again. You really shouldn’t have done that.

I’m serious, only an idiot with a death wish would knock upon the door of the sacred ritual hall of the Eternal Ancient Order Of The Golden Rain three times instead of twice. Only the most foolish would risk the wrath of the Elder Goddess Zuccax with the sacrilegious triple-tap.

Thanks to constantly being sent nothing but goats, goats and more goats by her so-called “devoted followers” for the past five decades, the Elder Goddess Zuccax is not in a good mood. Seriously, would a box of chocolates really go amiss once in a while?

And now you’ve just knocked on her door three times. Just like how her annoying ex-boyfriend, the Elder God Shalldonnarr, used to do every fucking time he came round to try to win her back. Well, this time she’s had enough!

As your blood boils inside your veins and fountains of acidic foam shoot out of your nasal passages and your… well, you probably don’t want to know. Needless to say that it isn’t something that can be cured with a couple of aspirin and a few days’ bed rest. Still, if you don’t want to make the same mistake again, then just….


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